Nude Zip-lining & Other Stories

I don't consider myself an exhibitionist or anything, but I must confess that I have a weakness for the free feeling of swimming, running, or zip-lining naked. It's not always comfortable, but it is always thrilling.

Go ahead and think I'm psycho, I don't mind. But if you're honest with yourself, there's probably a little part of you that wants to do these things too. I've convinced many a conservative girls' camper to throw caution and clothing to the wind, and I know they had just as much fun as I did. I believe that nudity can be completely innocent under the right circumstances (just ask Asians about their public baths). And these cases were certainly the right circumstances:

Adventure #1

I arranged a group of about eight girls to sneak out of our tents one night at girls' camp. We wore towels only (to protect our flesh as we roamed through the forest). But, right as we got to the road to head down to the river, a group of our camp leaders appeared right in front of us in the semi-darkness.

We scrambled off the dirt road and flattened ourselves in a pile in some prickly bushes. The leaders walked by with a few other girls, holding hands and singing reverently. That's the moment I realized: there's nothing more exciting than being naked under subterfuge. To this day, I still can't believe that eight pasty unclothed girls laughing under their breath in not-quite-darkness could go completely unnoticed. When the coast was clear, we ran to the river and splashed in, not at all daunted by the foot-deep freezing cold water.

But all good things eventually come to an end. We soon heard shouts, "There they are! I see flashlights." The yelling soon turned into horrified shrieks. "They're naked!" We grabbed our towels and fled the scene. At times like this, it's always each girl for herself, so I waited for no one. A few poor girls were cornered and one or two may have lost their towels. But me, I was free, running down the dirt road under the stars without a care in the world.

Adventure #2

If they schedule girls' camp at a site with a zip-line over a lake, they're practically begging everyone to do their worst, right? The only problem was that the nights were so cold that year that we never dared to go out naked. So, of course that meant we had to go during the day.

We rushed down to the lake on our last morning at camp and saw a few people fishing on the opposite side of the lake from the zip-line. We figured they were far enough away, and this was a serious priority, so we went ahead with the plan. This time, there were five brave souls. We all stripped and walked down the muddy hill to the zip-line. Except it was more like sliding than walking. By the time we made it down, we were practically clothed, considering all the mud and leaves glued to our rear ends.

We knew time was of the essence, so my sister, Jamie, and I decided to go two at a time--one on each zip-line handle. Now, when one girl is twelve and the other is seventeen, there's a substantial weight difference. We realized this when we started moving, bouncing against each other awkwardly as we gained speed, until I bailed and dropped into the water. Poor Jamie was left with nothing to balance her whatsoever, and she let out a pathetic scream and plunged into the lake, unprepared for the icy sheet of water below. The other girls took their turns on the thrill ride, and we all snuck back to camp--freezing but content.

P.S. You may be thinking that I crossed the line with this post. So let me tell you, my brother-in-law, Greg, who is infamous in our family for "pole-vaulting over the line" has done even worse. He parasailed naked in Mexico, traumatizing a beach full of unsuspecting tourists. Oh, and that's not even his worst.

Yay! The A to Z series is done. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.